Fan-fucking-tastic. Yep. New me alright. The sort of new me that goes home with guys I meet in civic. And not even the guy I wanted to go home with. Oh no. We hooked up earlier in the night then he found another girl and proceeded to avoid me for the rest of the night. So no, not the guy I barely know but for some reason am really upset about him having another girl. No no. I went home with his best fucking friend. Fuck. What is actually wrong with me? Do I have no self control or boundaries? I mean, we didn't have sex or anything, but still.
This is why I avoid emotional attachments, because they never end well. I get too attached to people I don't know that well or that don't want me and I'm the one who actually ends up getting hurt for once. Which I don't like and I'm not used to, and so not good at handling.
fuck. fuck fuck fuck.
I hate myself.
So much for that self respect and losing my dependency on the attention of boys. A+. Four for you Glen Coco, you go Glen Coco.
I did have a pretty fun night though, so that's all good, but seriously dude, what's the deal with the seriously mixed messages? Either you want me or you don't, and obviously I'd prefer that you want me bc I want you, but you just need to make up your mind, make it clear and not lead me on if you don't.
I suck. He sucks. Everyone sucks.
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